What would it be like to feel incredible gratitude because you get to do your right work in your lifetime? Your calling is a code within you, a spring of stamina, gifts, and love. You have more radical abilities than you realize.
We all ache to live the truth within us and be the sultan of our own best lives, but to live the life you dream of you have to nurture your dreams. And you have to trust yourself more than you trust naysayers, including the one within yourself. This is the ultimate act of self-love and self-realization.
But maybe you’re like me…and you were taught to not trust yourself. When I was younger, I wanted to be a writer. My New York City Orthodox Jewish family told me “Write? You’re going to starve!” They insisted my desires weren’t practical. The school counselor agreed. Nobody asked me about what felt absolutely magical.
I denied my heart, and went to law school, Harvard Law School, no less. I became an attorney in a chic corporate law firm, garnering validation, but feeling unnatural. I was living someone else’s life. It was terrifying to be “succeeding” on the outside and failing so deeply within. Maybe you know this horror of hollowness and shame. This is the life of not trusting yourself.
When I finally walked out of everything without a plan and few backup resources, I had a mission. I was going to listen to my truth, and I was going to trust myself.
These days as a bestselling author, speaker, and success/career coach, I help others discover and live their calling. Working with thousands, I’ve seen that success doesn’t come from taking the right steps, having money, being younger, and other gobbledygook we believe.
This is a spiritual path, a path of co-creating with your Deep Self and inspired genius. No one else can tell you where you belong. Your original road is infallible. Your adventure may ask you to stay in your job or to simply take a trip to Rhode Island. Or your desires might propel you to move across the world and film parrots. If you want to enter this incredible relationship with your life and yourself, I invite you to practice this cornerstone…here’s how:
1. Trust your Breadcrumbs
Follow your hunches and instincts. Don’t look for big answers or an instant title or definition you can print on business cards. Follow the heat. Do something you would secretly love to do now, even if it’s ‘nothing,’ like walking on the beach or reading a novel.
Doing something you love changes your brain chemistry and perspective. You may learn something or feel more connected to yourself. Besides, one thing leads to another which leads to another. Enter the current that will take you where you want to go, often in a non-linear way.
2. Trust your Gut instead of your Head
You may have a gazillion ideas and even ideas about your ideas, but the truth of what you truly desire comes from your “felt sense,” your gut. Don’t search for a definition or map. Be led moment, by moment by your honest inclinations, a full-bodied resonance unlike your ordinary intelligence.
Your mind might tell you that you need to be “realistic,” but your gut serves a bigger picture than the reality you currently perceive. Life is always shapeshifting. Your instincts respond to what is emerging, while your mind responds from partial awareness.
3. Trust this Moment
Often people think they can’t succeed because something didn’t happen the way they wanted it to in the past, but a calling is a path of remaining open to the miraculous. Every moment is new. People and situations change. Nothing stays the same.
Keep showing up. Give yourself another chance. Give life another chance. Why lock yourself into a single room of possibility with no other options? You are not who you were in the past. Your narrative about your past keeps you from the abundance that calls you now.
4. Trust your Talent or Gift
You may wonder if you’re good enough, but you have barely scratched the tip of the iceberg of your true capacity. Your gifts grow exponentially with use. Using your strengths makes you stronger. Engaging your gifts immediately boosts your happiness and defeats anxiety. You become more attractive to the kind of people you most want to know.
You can get stuck in thinking your gift needs to manifest a certain outcome or immediately make money. This fixation blocks your transformation. There is a reason you have the gifts you have. There is a reason you are here. Serve your gifts. Serve others with your gifts. You can’t imagine the genius of where this is going.
5. Trust Your Life
Ditch self-comparison or trying to fit into someone else’s model of success, including your own old standards. Sometimes you think things aren’t working out, yet when you stay conscious, curious, and self-advocating, you will see that something is always working. The way you respond to your circumstances creates your life. You also create a better relationship with yourself.
You may not have quick answers for casual conversations at dinner parties because sometimes it’s not what you are doing that matters; it’s what you are undoing. You are undoing beliefs that prevent your fulfillment. You are healing, moving beyond disempowering ideas about yourself. How you see yourself and the world will change the actions you take and what you accomplish.
This is what I want you to know: The more you trust yourself and your calling, the more alive you will feel. When you do not trust yourself or your dreams, it’s supposed to hurt. You are here to live the life you’re born for.
When you trust yourself, everything becomes possible.
Interested in more? Learning To Trust Yourself: Breaking Through the Blocks That Hold You Back is available now!
Tama Kieves, an honors graduate of Harvard Law School, left her practice to write and help others create their most extraordinary lives. She is the bestselling author of four books and her latest book, Learning to Trust Yourself: Breaking Through the Blocks That Hold You Back from St. Martin’s Essentials is out now. Featured in USA TODAY, ABC News, Oprah Radio and more, she is a sought-after speaker and visionary career/success coach, who has helped thousands worldwide discover and thrive in their life and work. She teaches regularly at premier holistic venues and has presented at TEDx. Learn more at Tamakieves.com
