How often do you feel joy—a truly pure, unadulterated experience of ease, bliss, and happiness? In childhood, our joy arises in the moment, spontaneous and free. But as we become adults, we’re faced with the pressure of increased responsibilities, endless demands, and a barrage of breaking news. And along the way, we forget how to be present in our own lives. In Soul Shift, Rachel Macy Stafford offers us a practical, inclusive guide to navigating a culture of distraction and depletion to find our way back to what delights our heart, makes us feel alive, and brings us peace. Read an excerpt below to learn how to tell when you’ve drifted from what matters.
Well into my healing journey, I heard an internal message, indicating my constant feeling of overwhelm was not something I could fix alone. When I stopped pushing the voice of caution away, I clearly knew I needed to see a mental health professional.
During one of the initial sessions with my new therapist, Caroline, she asked me the very question just posed to you. My internal response to, ‘What are you needing right now?’ was a violent scream. I couldn’t put the answer into words, but I could see myself pushing back… against people, demands, requests, and expectations. This mental image helped me realize that my Practice of Presence had fallen by the wayside, derailing me from my authentic path. As a result, I’d lost touch with my body, my limits, my needs, and my core values.
After that enlightening therapy session, I reinstated my Practice of Presence by stopping by a swing set in my neighborhood playground later that day. While on the swing, I didn’t beat myself up for straying from my path; instead, I revisited a list I’d made when I first began my journey. It’s a tool I call my CLOSEST / FURTHEST List, and it helps recalibrate me to my true path of peace whenever I drift or lose my way.
Here’s the list I made for myself that day, using this as my sentence starter: “I feel furthest from what truly matters when…”
I am depriving myself of sleep to get things done
I inhale my meals standing at the kitchen counter
I tell myself I can’t show up unless I lose weight
I judge my success by sales numbers
I let the opinions of others dictate my actions and give up mental space for their criticism
I feel like my boundaries are not being respected
I go along with something I don’t want to do to please others
But I also had my ‘closest to what matters’ list. On my list I wrote:
Taking a drive with my daughter, leaving phones at home
Walking outside in the sunshine
Talking 1:1 with a trusted friend who gets me
Giving my body the nutritious food that it craves and the sleep that it needs
Playing volleypaw with my cat Banjo
Stretching my tight calves until tension eases
Keeping a folding chair in the back of my car to decompress before heading home from meetings and appointments.
Acknowledging the conditions when I feel closest to what truly matters equips me to walk my authentic path and be aligned with the life I want to live. Equally as valuable is my “furthest list,” which contains external clues and triggers I can be aware of as I go about my day that indicate a shift is needed.
As I described earlier, my external clue that a shift was needed came from the visceral reaction I had to my therapist’s question, “What do you need right now?”
By allowing myself to fully acknowledge my feelings – even the most uncomfortable ones – I realized that amidst launching a book and navigating a chronic pain condition, I’d slipped into old, self-sabotaging behaviors. Revisiting and updating my ‘closest list,’ reminded me that my heart and body are intuitive, pointing out where restorative actions needed to be put into practice.
This connection between mental and emotional intuition began speaking loud and clear, despite the noise of past behaviors trying to drown it out. I became acutely aware of three areas that needed attention right away: Avery was emotionally unwell. It was time to remove a toxic person from my inner circle. And I needed to find out why my soul-renewing meditative walks had become the cause of such unbearable physical pain.
When the podiatrist looked at my MRI, she said, “Rachel, you came just in time. You are very close to having a stress fracture.”
When the doctor left the exam room to get the stabilizing boot, I cried with gratitude. If not for a Practice of Presence, I would have not seen the warning signs – not in my foot, not in my child, not in my personal safety. I would have just blown past the red flags, until the damage was done.
I was reminded of the debilitating place I was in when I’d started this journey eleven years ago, but this time, I was not back to square one. This time, the difference was I had a map that included a place to rest: The Practice of Presence.
It’s our beginning.
It’s our unburdening.
It’s our cleansing breath.
It’s our healing hope.
It’s our reminder, like a kiss on the hand that never rubs off.
It’s our internal compass, guiding us to our truest path.
Copyright © 2026 by Rachel Macy Stafford
Rachel Macy Stafford is the New York Times bestselling author of Hands Free Mama, Hands Free Life, Only Love Today, and Live Love Now. Rachel is a certified special education teacher whose personal strategies are universal invitations to embrace life with urgency and cultivate connection despite the distractions of our culture. Her blog and social media platform are sources of inspiration to millions. For more, visit handsfreemama.com.
