It is possible to make major and lasting changes in your life. There are many people who have gotten in shape, started a business, switched careers, become better conversationalists, found love, and the list goes on. Many times, the very same people who have failed for a long time to make these changes have later made them. However, what’s needed is often not what you’d expect – it’s often not about more discipline, wanting it enough, or getting yourself pumped up. What’s needed is a process for figuring out what specifically gets in the way for you, and for learning how to close that gap.
When you say things like “I just need to be more disciplined,” ironically, you’re revealing that you don’t just need to be more disciplined. A statement like that suggests that you’ve already come up with the strategy of “just being more disciplined” and that it isn’t working for you.
Each person and context is unique and change can happen quickly and in lasting ways when you find the difference that makes the difference for them. For instance, the difference could be a new strategy, a belief, a change to their environment, a set of resources, new information or skills, the right social support, or identifying limiting assumptions they hold. It could be a combination. Because it will not be the same for any two people, what we need is not one specific best practice, but a process for finding the difference that will make the difference.
NLP, or neurolinguistic programming, provides this process. In our book, The Difference that Makes the Difference, Greg Prosmushkin and I have worked hard to make NLP accessible for everyone. We offer the tools and concepts of NLP, along with the science to support them, in simple terms. And we provide easy ways to apply them to the changes you seek.
For example, there’s a change I struggled with for many years, and then made a major change. Until my mid-30s I did not like writing. All through college and beyond I thought of myself as a math and science guy. I found writing stressful and hard. But as I grew professionally, I had ambitions about writing articles and books. One day I applied a tool from NLP to the issue. This particular tool invites a person to look at how they do something well in one area of life and import what they learn to another area. In my case, I looked at my approach to a creative challenge I enjoyed – making the best use of a small NYC apartment. Through that process, one of the several key things I discovered was my ability to think about what would be ideal even if I didn’t know how it could work yet. I would give time to getting clear on what I wanted and save the problem solving for later. I experimented that week with applying this skill and several other learnings from the process to my attempts at writing. It was a sea change. I began to love writing almost immediately and have since written two books – including an international bestseller available in 10 languages, and another being published by St. Martin’s Essentials in July, as well as the bulk of the articles I’ve published.
This is an example of modeling excellence in yourself. It is just one example of the process that NLP offers for finding the difference that will make the difference for each person.
Greg and I wrote our book to democratize NLP, so that all people can make use of this process for change. We believe that everyone who wants to make a change in their life can and should have easy access to NLP. For people who are fellow brain-science enthusiasts, we’ve also included that in the book right there on the page, and limited ourselves to what could be supported by science.
Interested in more? The Difference That Makes the Difference is available now!
Josh Davis, PhD. is the internationally bestselling author of Two Awesome Hours and a certified Trainer and Master Practitioner of NLP. His new book, The Difference that Makes the Difference, makes NLP simple to understand and accessible to all. It explains simply the science that supports the powerful tools of NLP.
Josh earned his PhD from Columbia University, where he studied psychology and neuroscience. He has been studying NLP for over twenty-five years and teaching NLP for over a decade to individuals, parents, solopreneurs, people in small businesses, coaches, professionals, and leaders in large organizations. He is the founder and director of the Science-Based Leadership Institute. Previously, he was on the faculty at Barnard College of Columbia University, and has held senior positions at the NeuroLeadership and other leadership development institutes.
Josh specializes in applying NLP and lessons from science to such topics as productivity, public speaking, communication, and behavior change. His past corporate clients include Goldman Sachs, Hasbro, IDEO, Lululemon, M&T Bank, and more. His writing has appeared in HBR, Fast Company, Psychology Today, and other leading business and academic journals, and his contributions have been covered by various major news sources including The Wall Street Journal, The Financial Times, and The Times. He is also a frequent guest on podcasts and radio.
Greg Prosmushkin was born in 1968 in Moscow, Russia. At the age of 11, he immigrated to the United States with his parents, settling in Philadelphia. He pursued higher education at Drexel University and earned his law degree from Temple University School of Law. After a decade of practicing law, Greg expanded his expertise by becoming certified in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Utilizing NLP not only enhanced his personal and professional success but also made him a more effective trial lawyer, enabling him to recover millions of dollars on behalf of his clients.
Greg's entrepreneurial journey saw him co-founding multiple ventures across various industries, including adult daycares, veterinary hospitals, and a private tequila brand. He successfully exited several of these businesses, including an eight-figure exit for him and his partners in one of those ventures. Now, Greg seeks to help others achieve similar success through the book he co-authored with Dr. Josh Davis, The Difference that Makes the Difference: NLP and the Science of Positive Change, which distills their combined insights into actionable strategies for personal and professional growth.
